the summer

So again like last summer, Tommy is working and living in western oklahoma while I am staying in the city.  There has to be a reason why Tommy and I keep spending the summer apart.  Maybe it is so I will learn to rely more on God or maybe to better my faith and trust in the Lord.   Maybe it is so Tommy and I will become closer. The only time we have to spend together Tues-Thurs is from 8-9.30 on the phone.  We have no other option but to talk.  Or maybe it is just because that is where our Jobs are.  Who knows!

Although this situation sucks, it is not as bad as last summer for a couple of reasons...

1. Last summer Tommy was gone Sunday afternoon through Thursday night. This summer Tommy leaves Monday night and gets back Friday afternoon. I get to spend 4 days with him instead of 3.

2. Last summer Tommy and I's phone convos were constantly interupted by his UB students.  This summer there are no people to interupt our phone convos!

3. Last summer I was living in the crappiest apt. complex in a bad neighborhood. This summer I have a house and one of my neighbors quilts for a living and the other has a huge dog that barks at other people (he is our guard dog too!)!!!!!!!!!

4. Last summer I was trying to find a job and getting used to the new job.  A little scary for me. This summer I have that same job and I am used to it!

5. Last summer I was scared to drive in the city. This summer bring on traffic! lol! (rush hour sucks...especially on Northwest Expressway or what the city people like to call Northwest Highway! lol!)

So there are a couple of things that are better about this summer. 

BUT!!!!!!!! Here comes the but.  After living with your husband for a year...being used to sharing a bed, coming home to a house with a husband in it, hugging, and all the perks that come with marriage....it sucks to not have him here everyday.  I dont sleep as well, and i sometimes have what if sessions where I think What if a burgler comes. What if The tree falls on the house (That was this mornings what if).  But I guess I just have to realize that I am not alone. God is with me.  We have some great convo's everyday between 5.30 and 8! I love God, and I miss my husband.

Feelings

I miss my grandpa. (FYI: my grandpa went to be with Jesus Aug 8, 2006) I found a letter that he had written me back in 2005 that said he was proud of me.  That got me thinking about him. 

I talked to my mom about an hour ago and she was telling me that she had been with her sisters (my aunts) and her mom (grandma). She told me about the crying session they had talking about grandpa.  It made me cry. 

I miss him. I miss him a lot!!!

Long time no see!

Well hello,

It has been since september that I have written anything.  Wow time flies. 

Welp, God is GREAT.  I am having a blast this semester.  I have found such happiness in my school, work, my relationship with God and Tommy, my weekend trips to Burns Flat.  Just a lot of fun times.  I am content.  God has blessed Tommy and me so much, I don't think I have enough time to tell everything,

Today has been a GREAT day.  Tommy didn't go to his 1st class today because I don't have school (presidents' day). We have spent the day together...we even went out to eat!!! WOW I know!!! We ate a Ingrid's German Kitchen.  It is amazing!!! It makes me miss my Grandma Slagell who lives in Hydro.  Yummy food.

On another note Tommy and I are bickering over our children's names...funny becuase we are not pregnant or anywhere close to being pregnant.  I don't like the name Fred Leamond yeah, I know what you are thinking...who is that? It is Tommy's grandfather who he never met!  I am not a big fan of it at all! (Sorry Tommy and Bill...maybe even Vickie!) But oh well...

Well, hopefully I will keep updating, but who knows!!!

Church was amazing. I don't think that I could begin to describe it.  Jamie said it best when she said wow.

God is good. He is opening my eyes to my childish behavior.  I am becoming embarrassed by the way I would act. Talk about a slap in the face!!!!

On another note, I have come to realize how "cliqu'ey" chi alpha has become.  It didn't used to be that way, but it is now.  Sitting at a table and eating supper with 9 other chi alphians  made me realize that i didn't really belong.  That is an eye opener.  When you think of a place that wants people to come and to share in fellowship, you would think that they would be accepting.

God is showing me that I don't need to be that way.  That there are people out there who are hurting and need someone to be their friend and to talk to them.  I am learning and struggling to not cast judgement (as I did in the above paragraph!), but it is hard. I am trying to that type of person that people can come to me and feel loved.  I hope that I am doing ok.  I hope that I am making a difference.  

God,

Please help me and others to see what harm we can do by not being the type of persons who are loving, and friends to everyone. 

 Please help people to come into our social groups and feel loved. 

Please help the lost, hurt, and broken find refuge in your  loving arms. 

 Please help us be accepting.

Please humble us Lord. 

We need your help.

Before I get started, I would like everyone to know that none of this is including my wonderful husband.

As I sit here in the city, just thinking, I realize just how many true friends that I have.  One maybe two, or three. 

Growing up in a small town where everyone knows your social class, making friends is hard.  I got along with people fine, but it is the true deep friendships that I could never get. 

Family is an exception.  They, for the most part, are always going to be your friend. My siblings are my friends.  I'm closer to my brother than I am my sister.  I understand when he doesn't have time for me because he has a crazy job (he's a paramedic). He works all the time.  He calls me just to talk. That is nice. It means the world.   I talk to my sister too.  That's nice too.

I call my grandma alot. She is always glad to talk.  She gets lonely too.  She lost her best friend (my grandpa) on her birthday.  Its been a month and some days since he died.  Talking to her is always nice.

So outside of family who are my true friends? Those friends that you can have deep one on one convos with and they still love you? Ezz & Chelsea.  I hope they realize how much I appriciate them. 

I guess I am just hurt because I long for a friend here in the city.  I have Tommy's law school friend's wives. They are nice, but not the kind that I want to build that one-on-one bond with.  They are cool to just hang out with, but that only happens maybe once a month.  So what am I to do? I just sit and listen when I go to school.  I don't believe that I have found 1 christian in my classes.  That is just from the way that they act and talk.

I miss my friends in weatherford.  I am thankful that I get to see them 1 day out of the week.  I wish that when anyone of you come to the city that would stop by to see me.  I would be sooo delighted.  Even my family.  My parents have been here once. That was to bring me my couch.  Denise has been here 2 times.  Once just because...that was nice...and once to go to white water. That was nice too. 

I understand that people are busy. But come on people lets face it....if I was lying in a hospital bed...how many of you would come to see me.  Probably more than the amount of people who would come to see me just because.  Just sit there and think about it. 

I'm serious!